It’s strange being the family of a Soldier during the Global War on Terror. Everyday life goes on but knowing a family member is in harms way is always in our consciousness. In my case, my son is there and a moment of the day doesn’t go by that my heart doesn’t know that he is there.
It’s the same feeling I had when I read his orders. He sent them to me for safe keeping while he’s deployed. It had his name and stats and deployment. The Global War on Terrorism, it said. My son. My little tow-haired boy. My child is fighting the Global War on Terrorism. He is fighting jihadists in the heart of the Middle East. There are people there who want to and are trying to kill him.
The feeling I had when I saw that written in an official government document stays with me whenever I let my mind go there.
Some of us watch the news too much. Some of us don’t watch it at all. We all know the feeling of dull cautious stabs in our hearts when we hear the nightly network news doing their hateful body counts. We also know the feeling of quietly exhaling with relief when we are sure it wasn’t our child and then the sadness of knowing another mother is dealing with what we so fear.
When someone asks about my children I always tell about my daughter first because I know as soon as I say my son is in Iraq the other person will get uncomfortable and the conversation will end.
A couple of weeks ago I was in a meeting with a friend who lost her husband in Iraq about this time last year. I wrote about it at the time. Her son is in Iraq now. After the meeting she made her way over to me and the next thing I knew we were talking head to head about our sons. A couple of men came over and began talking to us. We smiled and replied and every chance we got continued our conversation.
My son was just returning to Baghdad from his R&R that day and I had just told her that when the men came over. So she asked when I thought he’d arrive. One of the men smiled and asked, ‘Oh, is your son taking a trip?’. I told him he was returning to Baghdad. It was obviously not the kind of trip he was thinking of. He looked uncomfortable and then just hugged me and then hugged my friend. I think he didn’t know what to say or do. She and I continued talking and eventually I noticed the men weren’t there anymore. She and I talked all the way out of the building and to our cars. I think we lingered after the meeting for over an hour.
Later that evening I went to my mother’s for her birthday. Some of her friends dropped in. There was the usual polite conversation. Then someone mentioned that the woman sitting next to me had a son who is a Marine and in Iraq. This woman and I had never met before, but we were immediately drawn into close conversation. ‘Where is your son?’. ‘How long has he been there?’. ‘Has he moved off the FOB yet?’. We understood each other and understood what we both wanted to talk about but have precious few we can talk about it with.
When we find each other in real life we talk as though we’re starving dogs and someone has just thrown a raw steak in front of us.
You see, we live in a society that doesn’t think it’s at war. We live in a society that doesn’t want to be reminded it’s at war. And yet, our sons and daughters are at war. It’s an incongruity that leaves some of us with nothing to do but type out our frustrations on blogs.
It’s a disconnect that drives us to our knees that our sons and daughters won’t be sacrificed on the alter of political games and a society ardently striving to maintain it’s state of denial.

Photo credit:
Lt. Gen. Boykin: Counterinsurgency Methods in War on Terror Produce Results
Photo by Air Force Master Sgt. Andy Dunaway
March 01, 2007Pfc. Moon Narine, from the 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, provides security at an Iraqi police station in Riyahd village, Jan., 31. Narine and all of the other Soldiers are in effect “sensors,” said Lt. Gen. William G. Boykin, meaning gatherers of intelligence.
Also see: American Strength
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Man… this piece hits close to home and articulates my feelings to a “T”.
Thanks.
BSC: Thanks so much Leo! I tried to leave a msg over at your blog, but I’m having trouble accessing blogspot blogs. Thank you for your kind words and for the link! And for your son’s service to the country.
I do not know how you feel, because I do not have a loved one in harms way, but can imagine how stressful it is. I do want you to know that I am thankful that we have individuals, like your son, who care enough about our country that they are willing to risk their lives to defend it. Your son, like all of those in harms way are my heros.
BSC: Thank you Robert. That is so kind!
All I can say is “Thankyou” and “May God keep you and yours safe”. I don’t have anyone in harms way either, but I thank God every day for the parents who raised such fine upstanding men and women. And I thank any military person I meet for the sacrifice they make or are facing.
BSC: Thank you! The support of the American people is what our guys need as much as anything.
I pray for your son (my nephew) every day. I thank God for all our military men and women. I pray God will guard them and guide them.
BSC: I know you do and thank you!!!
You write so beauitifully about how it is. I pray for your son everyday and for all of you as his loved ones. Thank you for your special service to our country too as you serve in such a special way as his mother.
BSC: Thank you so much Wild Thing! He has enjoyed your blog, btw. You are one of the greatest supporters of America and our military!!
Open Trackback Weekend #43…
43 Open Trackback parties and counting……
The Families…
May we never forget that supporting our troops also means supporting their families as well….
I really didn’t want to cry tonight.
BSC: I didn’t mean to make you cry :(. I hope it was a good cry!
Wonderful and much needed post ! I have 2 siblings and a nephew serving.
One is heading back for 3rd tour, one leaving for 2nd tour this month and one still stateside…for the moment. I’ve noticed how people no longer ask how they are, or if I bring them up,they quickly change the subject.It’s the elephant in the room, and so uncomfortable.
I have become a news junkie, and get asked often “why do you watch that depressing war stuff ? ” I respond with ” if I don’t watch it, will that make it go away ? ”
This post has left me wanting to bitch slap Cindy Sheehan, Jane , and every other person that doesn’t understand.
Thanx
BSC: It IS the elephant in the room - I know exactly what you mean. Thanks for your kin who are serving. I’ve been a news junkie too and I keep thinking I have to stop it, but I just keep watching. I know what you mean about the Sheehag too! :rolleyes:
Beth,
I hate it that you have to encounter those who are pretending we are not at war. There you are, offering your own flesh and blood to save and protect our very unworthy hides, and so many are in denial that we even need protection. Well, I’m in the group who does not have a loved one serving, but I can and I will listen all day and all night to any mother or wife of a soldier who needs to talk. There’s so little we can do beyond praying and mailing out boxes of cookies and writing letters to editors, but we can listen. We can hug and we can say thank you. From the bottom of my heart I say thank you that men and women of this country have the heart and the backbone to go to war to preserve our freedom and freedom around the world. Our serving forces are my heroes and I pray my grandsons grow up to be just like them.
Maewynia
BSC: That’s wonderful! You have no idea how much those packages and letters mean. It’s a little bit of home. The people who get uncomfortable don’t mean harm. They just don’t know what to say or do and it’s not a part of their every day life.
Thank God for these very special people who protect our freedoms while fighting for the freedoms of others. They are yet another “greatest generation” of Americans.
BSC: I’m afraid they are going to be another ‘greatest generation’ or it will be left to the next generation. If the politicians continue to get in the way, we will leave it for our grandchildren to have to deal with.
Incredible post, Beth, simply incredible. I don’t know what else to say.
BSC: You said plenty William. You also say plenty on your blog. You are a great supporter of America and our Troops! For some of us - hammering it out on our blogs is all we can do - and you certainly do that!
Beth:
Thank you so much for sharing your feelings about being a mother of a son at war. I cannot image what you are going through every day, but my heart goes out to you and my prayers for your son’s safety. You are so right when you wrote, “You see, we live in a society that doesn’t think it’s at war. We live in a society that doesn’t want to be reminded it’s at war.â€Â
I remember that sad day early on when President Bush told us all to go about our daily business – “go shopping at the mall,†etc. The idea was that we wouldn’t let terrorism defeat us by making us alter our lives. I knew then that was the biggest mistake based upon a slogan we’ve heard for too many years! It demonstrated a total lack of understanding human psychology. Unless each of us invests our entire being, all of our hopes, all of our dreams, all of our prayers, and, yes, all of our fears into the fight against terrorism, we have no stake, and we take no part. Those who turn away from you in discomfort are to be pitied. Those who are risking their lives on the battlefield for our country are our true heroes. We here at home should never forget what they have sacrificed!
BSC: Yeah, the go out and shop thing wasn’t very wise. Like you, I understand the thinking behind it - but it gave us all an out. Like they say, our Soldiers are at war while America’s at the mall. I agree with you, we have to understand we are at war and share the sacrifice and responsibility. Right now, just a few are giving anything, and they are giving their all.
Wonderful post Beth! We all feel the same way. I know that’s why our little support group has become such close friends in a short time.
BSC: I know! That’s one of the reasons I like your blog even though I’m not from Texas! lol {{{hugs}}}
A Little Prayer for a Big Man…
Lyn mi chiede una preghiera per chi ieri ha perso un figlio in guerra. Come può essere una cosa tanto semplice e tanto difficile allo stesso tempo? Tanto semplice ringraziare chi ogni giorno dona la vita per tutelare un mondo libero, tanto difficile…